Makara Sankranti.

Sun’s gentle journey, As it slips from Sagittarius’ fiery embrace & steps into the calm of Capricorn’s domain. I hope everything goes well for everyone. I’m listening to Palazhi Chelode. M.G. Sreekumar is a legend. What a vibe this song has! I’ve never been an Ayyappa devotee, I still feel disappointed by Ayyappan’s decision to restrict the entry of adult women into Sabarimala. Yet my own memories with the place are deeply personal. Actually, I went to Sabarimala as a “Kanni Malikapuram” when I was eight. I remember the rituals vividly. On the first day, we went to Oachira, and Achan bought me a crystal chain and took a Rudraksham for himself. Thirumeni performed the poojas and blessed us with the chain. After that, we were in spiritual discipline, called vratham, for 41 days. I didn’t get scolded by school or by Amma because I was a “kanni malikappuram” at that time. On the day we went to Sabarimala, in the morning, we conducted kanji sadya for the neighbors. In the evening, we filled the irumudikettu in the presence of the purohithan and then started our journey to Sabarimala with barefoot. We traveled by KSRTC buses, which provided special services to Pampa during Mandalakalam. I think I slept on the bus because it was very cold outside. Early in the morning, we reached Pampa. We took a bath in the Pamba river and started climbing Sabarimala. One of the neighbors, Gopi uncle, ran a small tea shop there. I got Pomsy biscuits and tea from him. While climbing the hill, my feet and fingers were stabbed by rocks, it was painful. Achan told me to chant, “Swamiye Ayyappo.” That was the first and last trekking experience I had with Achan. We were not able to enter the 18th step (Pathinettam Padi) and the temple that day because the temple was closed after the 41-day long pilgrimage season. So, we stayed in a lodge until the temple reopened the next day. A Telugu family was staying with us. There was a boy and his grandmother in their group. The grandmother gently offered me a banana and aval vilayichathu. I hesitated and looked at Achan, waiting for his permission before accepting food from a stranger. Earlier, such things were not allowed. After a brief pause, Achan nodded and gave me permission. Only then did I take the snack and eat it, feeling both relieved and quietly happy. I was excited when I reached Saramkuthi. There were lots of small arrows made of bamboo (I’m not sure its bamboo) branches with colourful feathers fixed at the bottom. I was fascinated and picked some, but Achan warned me not to, saying they belonged to Ayyappan. On the way to Sannidhanam, I saw many toys, but I was stuck on a small mechanical boat placed in a small pot of water that started moving when we turned a key. I was afraid to ask Achan to buy one because I knew we were facing a financial crisis. I calmed myself, thinking maybe next year we would have enough money for Achan to purchase it. After waiting in a long queue for hours, I finally reached Pathinettampadi. The queue was very crowded, and I was stuck among the pilgrims, unable to move anywhere. Achan held my hand tightly. I could only see the sky because everyone around me was tall, and some people stayed close to keep me safe. After that, I threw a coconut at the base of Pathinettampadi and was able to reach the steps. The police helped me climb, but I didn’t like that, I wanted to climb on my own. Later, Achan showed me the board with the writing Twatwamasi. That’s it. It’s something I will always carry in me.